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The inner word

14 Dec 2014 - Third Sunday of Advent, Cycle B

This is a season of expectation—and of expectations. We hear how John the Baptist had to set the record straight on who he wasn’t: no, not the Messiah; sorry, not Elijah either. What kinds of unrealistic expectations do others have of your pastoral role that you may have had to knock down? And what kinds of unrealistic expectations do you hold yourself to? Perhaps this is the week to clarify expectations, especially as the liturgical season hits its peak.

expectations

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Homily stories

21 Aug 2011 - Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

At a new job I took on years ago, everyone I met in my first days mentioned how the general manager of the organization was a genius. They spoke of him in awed tones. And so when I met him, I was disappointed. I expected him to perform great feats of intelligence and management mastery right before my eyes. Instead he was quiet, unassuming, and down to earth. Mostly what he did was listen. In the few meetings I attended with him at that time I came away annoyed that I wasn't seeing in this man what I thought everyone else was seeing. After all the build-up, I had expectations of who he ought to be and how he ought to act, and he wasn't meeting those expectations. And so, for a long time I missed seeing what later came to be quite obvious--his own brand of quiet genius. He was not one to make a big splash. His gift was being able to see the essence of things and to keep our organization focused on what mattered most. Expecting one thing, I almost missed what I had. So when I hear Jesus advise the apostles to tell no one he was the Christ, I can finally understand his point. Perhaps what he's saying is, "Let them discover this truth fresh for themselves." After all, if they start with wrong expectations of who Jesus ought to be, they might just miss the opportunity to encounter the Living Christ.

Authors Tom McGrath

expectations living christ genius

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Homily stories

01 Mar 2009 - First Sunday of Lent, Cycle B

My newest hero is my neighbor across the hall: a public high-school teacher thought of as funny, sensitive, but not all that deep. Brian was on the verge of getting engaged to a beautiful woman, a social worker with a genuine concern for the people she helped. But when they began talking about marriage and children, she was clear about her expectations. He would, of course, have to pursue a different career because they could never raise a family on a teacher’s salary. “How ‘bout law school?” she threw out as a possibility. Brian was taken aback, but he too was very clear: He wanted to be a high school teacher. It was his dream job, his “vocation,” to use his words. He watched his dad die early in a high-powered job that kept his family at a distance, and he didn’t want that for his kids. He also wanted to be there to help other kids. Wow, who knew? We all read him wrong, including his girlfriend. Since she couldn’t get past the money, the relationship ended. But for me, it was the beginning of an even more beautiful friendship. Here was a friend who could teach me about resisting temptation and staying on course—just like Jesus.

Authors Patrice J. Tuohy

teacher engage expectations Vocation friendship Temptation

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The inner word

28 Dec 2008 - Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Cycle B

I once heard a family therapist say, “It is important for every family to get its saints out of heaven and its sinners out of hell.” The point is that it doesn’t pay to either idealize or demonize our families (or fellow family members). Often our perceptions of family go unexamined and yet exert powerful influences on our world view—including our view of faith and community. Stop a minute to reflect on the following questions: Abraham trusted God’s promise of boundless heirs, even despite the evidence to the contrary. Do I trust God that my life and my work will prove fruitful? The heart of what makes a family are bonds of love and respect. What are my feelings about family? Who would I consider to be the key members of my “family” in my day-to-day life? Do the patterns of my biological family continue on to affect today’s relationships? The gospel tells of wonderful predictions offered by Simeon and Anna. How do early expectations of family members affect me today? It must have been puzzling for Joseph and Mary to live with the knowledge that the “favor of God” was upon their only son. How do we live with those around us, working together day by day and yet knowing that they are called to be saints (even as we are)?

family expectations disappointment

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Who's listening?

28 Dec 2008 - Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Cycle B

There’s an old joke about the Irish mother who gets a stern look from her old pastor as she’s traipsing into Mass late, followed by her brood of eight children. During the sermon (this was pre-“homily”), the pastor extols the virtues of the Holy Family. On the way out, the beleaguered mother looks up at the statue of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and says, “Hmph! Sure, ’twould be easy with just one!” The point is that it doesn’t pay to hold up an idealized version of life in Nazareth and ask people to compare themselves to that. In most churches on Sunday, you will have almost as many versions of family as people present. Singles, divorced, widowed, vowed, infertile couples, blended families, estranged families for whom it is not wise nor safe to reconcile, and amalgamations of friends who have found each other and think of one another as family. There is no perfect family, only people who long to be welcomed, to be known, and to belong. It is self-giving, generative love that makes us whole (complete, perfect, holy). And that is a message we all long to hear.

family expectations disappointment Belonging Community

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Homily stories

28 Dec 2008 - Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Cycle B

Homesickness is a powerful disease for which there is no cure but going home. We may miss our own room or bed. Maybe we need the routine that we have grown accustomed to over the years. It could even be the food or the exact time of day we are used to eating. It includes a familiarity with just about everything around you that has suddenly become just a memory rather than a reality. But, most of all, homesickness is caused by the way we so intensely miss our family, even if we don’t necessarily want to admit it. After all, it may surprise us that we miss that little brother or sister we always considered a pain in the neck and who was always bugging us. It might be that we are starting to understand that Mom and Dad, despite their not fully understanding us, still love us in a way that leaves us empty being away from it. Maybe back home our parents and siblings are feeling the same about us. Mary is told clearly that her heart will be broken by Jesus’ fate. Sometimes the greater the love, the greater the pain. Last week when church was full, we felt the joy of being part of God’s family celebrating Christmas together. Now our family, no matter how perfect we try to make it, as Paul points out, begins to break apart. Church is not so full, and we are saddened. It can’t be Christmas every day. But we can embrace each other as the family of faith, whatever opportunities we have.

Authors Father Dominic Grassi

home homesick family Suffering perfection expectations

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05 May 2019 - Third Sunday of Easter, Cycle C

When I was a kid there was a narrow, shallow, stagnant pond that ran for half a mile or so between two sets of railroad tracks near my home. In the summer we would spend hours at a time there trying to catch crayfish. How they got there, I’ll never know. They must have descended from crustaceans that populated the pond long before the railroads came through. Our fishing methods weren’t sophisticated: We’d tie a hunk of baloney on the end of a string and drop it alluringly in front of a large rock, old discarded gas can, or thick stand of weeds. Eventually the baloney would lure a hidden crayfish out into the open and its large claw would close on the meat in a vicelike grip. We could then yank our prize out of the water and into a waiting bucket. We’d watch it crawl around and around the bucket for a while and then release it. Chasing crayfish taught us the habit of simply observing nature. It taught us to pay attention, to see what was there and what more might be there. There’s always more under the surface than first meets the eye. That was Jesus’ lesson to the apostles this week, when he invited them to cast their nets one more time after a disappointing night of fishing. They followed Jesus’ lead and hauled in an abundant harvest. Watch with great expectation, and your life will know abundance.

Authors Tom McGrath

fishing expectations

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23 Aug 2020 - Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

At a new job I took years ago, everyone I met in my first days mentioned how the general manager of the organization was a genius. They spoke of him in awed tones. And so when I met him, I was disappointed. I expected him to perform great feats of intelligence and management mastery right before my eyes. Instead he was quiet, unassuming, and down-to-earth. Mostly what he did was listen. In the few meetings I attended with him at that time I came away annoyed that I wasn’t seeing in this man what I thought everyone else was seeing. After all the build-up, I had expectations of who he ought to be and how he ought to act, and he wasn’t meeting those expectations. And so, for a long time I missed seeing what later came to be quite obvious—his own brand of quiet genius. He was not one to make a big splash. His gift was being able to see the essence of things and to keep our organization focused on what mattered most. Expecting one thing, I almost missed what I had. So when I hear Jesus advise the apostles to tell no one he was the Christ, I can finally understand his point. Perhaps what he’s saying is, “Let them discover this truth fresh for themselves.” After all, if they start with wrong expectations of who Jesus ought to be, they might just miss the opportunity to encounter the Living Christ.

Authors Tom McGrath

expectations discover truth

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30 Aug 2020 - Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

Who among us hasn’t thought: “I’ve worked so hard, been honest and true, I deserve rest and reward.” That only seems fair and reasonable. Good people deserve good lives—it’s the presupposition of most cultures—and the essence of the American Dream. Like Peter, we find it hard to believe that decent people could end in ignominious failure. Who wants to see themselves or their heroes ridiculed and reviled? Peter’s “say it ain’t so, Lord,” is a very human response to such disheartening news. But Jesus says not only is it so but to think otherwise is the work of the devil. The minute we begin to believe that we are entitled to a life free from sacrifice, we are not thinking as God does—for our God continually offers himself in sacrifice to us. Throughout his years of ministry, Jesus reminds us that true joy and rest come with discipleship—with following God’s ways of compassion and justice. So perhaps it’s time to take stock of your expectations. If you are hoping for your just rewards, you will be sorely disappointed, no matter how much money you make or fame you achieve. If, on the other hand, you are preparing for the many difficult days ahead by strengthening your love and commitment to others and to God, then you have already tapped into your heavenly treasure.

Authors Patrice J. Tuohy

american dream Saint Peter sacrifice expectations

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27 Aug 2023 - Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

At a new job I took on years ago, everyone I met in my first days mentioned how the general manager of the organization was a genius. They spoke of him in awed tones. And so when I met him, I was disappointed. I expected him to perform great feats of intelligence and management mastery right before my eyes. Instead, he was quiet, unassuming, and down-to-earth. Mostly what he did was listen. In the few meetings I attended with him at that time I came away annoyed that I wasn't seeing in this man what I thought everyone else was seeing. After all the build-up, I had expectations of who he ought to be and how he ought to act, and he wasn't meeting those expectations. And so, for a long time I missed seeing what later came to be quite obvious—his own brand of quiet genius. He was not one to make a big splash. His gift was being able to see the essence of things and to keep our organization focused on what mattered most. Expecting one thing, I almost missed what I had. So when I hear Jesus advise the apostles to tell no one he was the Christ, I can finally understand his point. Perhaps what he's saying is, "Let them discover this truth fresh for themselves." After all, if they start with wrong expectations of who Jesus ought to be, they might just miss the opportunity to encounter the Living Christ.

Authors Tom McGrath

expectations

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